Putting On a Mask
Yes. Maybe I have once put on a mask. But the mask broke open, and my feelings overflowed. I’d lost my face in front of others too many a time. I have cried in front of others too many a time. I feel like I am a loser. Someone whom can’t control my emotions. Lousy.
This time, I am determined. Determined to put on that mask once more, and never let it break apart. This shall be the last post about my sad life. About the life that hurts. There would never be any posts left. This little space here will remain, but there won't be any news of that loser. Never anymore. ((:
The loser that you’ve once known have gone into hiding.
Bye. ((:
3:05 PM
Amongst the dark, there will be some light.
It seems easy to say, but hard to fulfill. It is so easy, so easy, just for you to say encouraging words to others so that they can pull through their tough times. But how many times you can say it to yourself? I guess one in a thousand times? A million? Perhaps not even once.
What is life about? Can anyone tell me? Cause I don’t know the answer. I really don’t. At times, some people seems to have so much fun. But have anyone seen the mask behind their faces? Or maybe some people appears to be gloomy, but in their heart they are smiling? I don’t know, and I have no rights to say anything about this.
But, amongst all those sad things, those dark and gloomy days. Those lonely nights. Those fearful obstacles that you have to overcome. There would often be some light. Some form of hope for anyone. Maybe when you are really down and out, there would be a hand out there, reaching out for you. Trying to pull you up, helping you. I don’t know.In life, there would often be many obstacles placed out for you. There would definitely be some things for you to be afraid of. Including me. Someone told me today that I look as if I am not afraid of anything. I smiled back and replied politely, “Oh Really?” But, in my heart. I was thinking. Thinking. Is it cause of the mask that I put on that tells others that I am strong? That I am not afraid of anything? I don’t know, but I guess it is. For, I always appeared strong, I guess. Not many had seen my tears. Yes, tears do drop from my eyes often. But, I will try not to.
I don’t know if its a compliment or not. But, I guess those “hard work” that I had put in, to put on that heavy mask, had paid off? I don’t know. But yes. I do feel sad and emotional. Yes. I have feelings too. But, if you don’t care about my feelings. I don’t see why I should care about your feelings. Get it? I don’t know why I am saying this, but. It just comes out. ((:So now, to everyone out there, facing any obstacles. Remember this.
Even when everything falls, there would be some form of light. Wait for it to shine at you, and guide you through your way out. ((:
Sometimes, all I need is just a hug.
5:18 PM
I love Living Life. I am Happy
My geography teacher showed me this video yesterday, and I felt real true. I’m spreading it around, to those feeling down. To those whom fell down, and don’t have the strength to carry on. Just like me. CCA have always been taxing on me, having to do so much. But, I never give up. Why? Cause there is a strength there. I won’t give up, even though it came to me many times. I often say that I won’t go for training, since Sec1. But, I would always go. I don’t know why. Even though there is so much for me to think about. There is so much that I need to know. But, the passion just gets stronger. Maybe cause I’ve met someone that changed my thinking with her words. Frankly, I did not like her in the past, cause I did not understand. But no longer. ((:
Carry this strength around with you. You can, everyone can. I’m very sure about it. Absolutely sure. ((:
“Never give up. Know why? Cause even if you give up, you will not get anywhere. So, why not just keep trying till you've got it? You can try 100 times, and fail 100times. But, if you give up, you will still get no where too. ((: People ! Life isn't always smooth sailing. But, don't fret. Continue to walk the way through. Because you can. ((:”
9:18 PM
BOTAK ! xD
Yes, Botak ! I’ve always wanted to cut botak, cause I feel that its cool. But this time, the urge is like so strong. How I wish I am going to cut tomorrow, but its impossible. Told mum about it, and about Hair For Hope. Wanted to wait for it, but felt that there is still a long way to go. Anyway, she told me to wait for it. So, I guess I am going to wait for Hair For Hope 2010. Hope that my urge will not disappear by then. x)
Anyway, Hair For Hope is a event where people shave their hair (BOTAK), to raise money. Its for those cancer patients. ((: I think that it will be very meaningful. x) So, I shall wait for Hair For Hope 2010, and join it this year ! I shall, I will ! xD
Till then. A very short post today, but at least it isn’t EMO !
PS: Going to keep a longer hair for now. x)
11:38 PM