Orange

starting to really feel that i am not worth anything ..
not worth all the care and concern given to me ..
not worth all the respect that i get . (or is there none?)
not worth for all the sorry and "paiseh" , really .

not being emo , but its a fact .
i have finally realise that its no longer biase ..
its cause of the things that i have done before ..
whats mine , will be mine .
whats not mine , will never be mine .

things have changed . better or worse ? i dontknow
those that used to be familiar to me, seem to get further ..
those that used to be not familiar to me , seem to come closer ..

recently, i have found out many many many bad things about me .
not these two days .. but its for the past month .
i have been observing .
i am just a coward ..
a coward that dares to do , but don't dare to say and face consequences .
i am just a disappointment ..
not only to others , but to myself too .
i know that many are disappointed , but don't say out . or is it that no one care anymore ?

whatever it is , i am just worthless .
i guess i am now a changed person .
or is it not changed yet ? i don't know either
but , i know that i want to change .
i shall accept everything that comes to me , be it what .
i shall not control anything anymore .
i won't accept the sorry and "paiseh" , cause i don't deserve it .
i guess , these three lines shall me the new me ? i am not sure (:

gone , for a break .
blogging not on daily basis anymore . (:

nothing is ever important .
4:32 PM

here for a short post yeaa. ^^
wednesday , had training.. T.T
damn boredd.. nvm.. 2more trainings and i tink stand down from CCA lerr..
weeheee ~~ ^^ dnno wad i tinkin too

hmm.. yesterday..
lessons were as per normal (everyday oso same de larr)
den after school went to do something..
damn angry wif myself..
foul mouth.. first time saw her eyes red.. x( dnno hw wan face her too.. hais..
den came home, did some revision bahhs.. damn siann..

hmm.. today !
went to school w/o bagg .. xD (nth to bring~)
after school, which delayed 30mins, went bac primaryy..
woots ~ saw most of them ! XDD
and mrslim said that i have grown quiett. XDD
las year oso like that say.. LOLS !
dun complain i am too noisy okk.. xD
hmm.. den went macs wif kimberley , xiaoshi, gwen , hasfis, beegeok and belinda..
for LUNCH ! XD
after lunch, went home and slept.. 3.30-4.30 ..
wake up.. immediately almos wan tio .. wthh.. bt no point angry ! XD

hmm.. gtg lerr ! bye everyone !

nothing is ever important .
4:59 PM

morning wasn't latee..
and JIEYI ! dun b scared when u see me larr !
i not always will late de mahh.. ^^ eheheh..

den had all those dry+boring lessons.. dint enjoyed any..
ONLY enjoyed recess lorr !
cause can EAT mahh !! heheheee.. xPP

hmm.. just reached home.
and mama was like practically kpkb-in ?
cause e progress report larr ==
sorry shirly and those whom wan me go study with them..
i tink canot already lorr .. she scolding lerr..
say i canot study when go out de.. waste of my timee.. ==

tink shall not blog for e time being too ..
comp mayb use for audi nia bahh ? audi anyone ? XD

till the next time i blog again

nothing is ever important .
2:08 PM

today.. was LATE !! hahas..
no feeling de ? lolls ! cus i guess used to being scolded le bahh..
almost every lesson oso tio scold ? LOLS !!

hmm.. den had e boring lessons.. siansiansian..
but i enjoyed history u knw !
cause, i dint do anything ! was talking all e time.. ^^v

hmm.. home econs , did e cookie ? LOLS !!
den nth muchh.. home econs was a slackk too !
hahass !!

science test one e female and male reproductive parts..
haiss.. tink fail le lor.. if can pass, oso jus pass..
only knw e name of most parts.. dnno fuction.. ==

after school .. went inter top-up card..
den went BGPS outside theree..
so jidangao larr !
supposed to meet ppl.. den ppl fly my aeroplane..
somemore nv evn say anything.. grr..

den went to haf my hair cut..
majiam no cut de.. bt fringe gt short abit bahh..
aww ! i wan my hair fasfasfas groww.. xD
den i can cut.. e hair i wann !

den came home lorr.. nw blogg..
ltr tink audi awhile bahh.. XD
aft audii jiu i tink go study lerr..
results nt wad i want.. x( .

nothing is ever important .
3:55 PM

i am bacc.. like fianlly ?
ytd whole day not at home luhhs.. frm afternoon till.. nite ? LOLS !

hmm.. morning damn shagg..
cus v long no slp latelate lerr.. *i gdgir mahh*
den went for breakfast wif family, den go tuition lorr
soo bored de.. nv listen.. ==

hmm.. after that jiu come home lorr..
den nw slacslac awhile.. ltr i tink go audi awhile..
afternoon jiu MUST study lerr..
cause ytd only read animal farm abit niaa.. nv do dao notes... x((

BUT, if anyone c me on9 , and wan play audi wif me..
i CAN play dee.. XDDD heheee...

tink thats all bahhs....
tctcc .

nothing is ever important .
1:23 PM

i am here, to "express" , my utmost feelings towards my beloved frisbee !

*LOLS*

frisbee, you have been with me for 3years already ..

and i love you more than anything .

*note : its orange

eventhough, i havent been playing "you" for a very long time..

but, my "love" for you, have never changed before .

awww !! i sososo love frisbee larr ! look at e "love" on top.. hahas! soo miss it lorr.. miss e times playing EVERY recess without fail, except for tt time prelims and PSLE .. cause NOT ALLOWED too.. T.T still can remember every recess, e parade square would be filled with notorians , be it e frisbee team or not.. running around, for e frisbee. soo miss larr ! its like.. no need think, also will know that its notorians there de.. dnno why also, but its like without fail larr ! sure will see us there .. i still could remember, when PSLE was over , the first recess, we straight went to play already.. aww.. i soo miss it lar !! x((

i miss notorians too.. cause, we may not be the best batch of BGPS .. but, we sure are the best attitude one already.. cause why ? we play .. unlike other batches whom i know, they chiong all their studies and no play.. and 6/1'06, dint look like a first class to me too.. we were naughty.. we play and play.. i soo miss them.. haiss...

nothing is ever important .
10:26 AM

hmm.. dint study ytd..
bt las nite had loads of fun larr !
cause went audi mahh.. although myselff..
bt got to knw tt audi gt "chicken" lorr ! hahas !!
soo funny..

hmm. bac to today...
reached school jus on time, tio preached..
used to it lerr.. so, its okays ! ^^

aft tt jiu all e lessons damn slack lorr today..
den aft lessons jiu come home lerr..
slack frm 1 til nw.. tink 2 like tt jiu go study abit ler bahh..
exams are coming ! JYJY !

kays.. tink i go audi soon . xD
end heree..

nothing is ever important .
1:19 PM

hmm.. haven been blogging for 10days ? LOLS !
soo nw.. i shall recap on wad i haf done this few days bahh.. hahas..

hmm.. recently afew things happened.
i guess 冲动 is e word bahhs.. hahas ..
i assure that nothing of this will happen AGAIN ! ^^

hmm.. monday was err.. i forgot did wad alrr.. hahas !!
tuesday after school , went BGPS !!! XDD
collected my dear dear frisbee jersey ! this year de. hehee.
hmm. red in colour.. and it looks cool larr !!
got my name, bigbig behind.. XDD

cant wait for e eastzone !
sept2 !! XDD i am soo going to go lorr !
cause i damdamdam miss frisbee larr !! XD
tuesday got play.. but den abit niaa lorr .. nt enough !! *bleahh*

hmm.. then yesterday..
had CHINESE orall.. aww.. soo sucks larr !
when see tt i-forgot-wad-name .. my heart was peep-pop - ing lorr !
dnno wad i was tokin too!! nvm..

den had training.. and had PT !!
PT until majiam like wan die lerr.. hahas..
cus damn long no run le mahh.. and no do push-up and crunches..
tts why.. canot blame. XDD

hmm.. finally, today !
dint wan to go PE de lorr.. cause i tot was badminton..
i am damndamn lousy at badminton larr !
but den it was FRISBEE !! muahahahaa !!!

even though also nv play muc larr.. but damn fun lorr !!
its like.. from rusty to not so rusty lerr .. hehee...

den after school shirly LIMPEH come my hse..
she wan help me do some blogskin de..
den after that, she jiu go home lorr.. nw nth do.. x((
havent been studying lately.. haiss..

done updateing ! heres e picspics !

my lolly ! big , bt nv finishh . XDD

studying in progress. XDD
*guai*

long hairrr ~~ XDD (nt too long)

e frisbee "crest" !! cool riterite?

e backview !! my name BIGBIGBIGBIG !! XDD

nothing is ever important .
5:06 PM

papa;mama
i know sometimes, i have been really a bad child.. throwing tantrums, and wanting everything to come down to me without doing anything .. but, both of you have done alot alot for me.. i can see that with my own eyes.. both of you have sacrificed for me.. *i wonder what would happen if you both have more than a child* i really really want to thank you guys lotslots.. i may be disappointing at times, when my results really sucked .. i am sorry.. i know i have made alot of empty promises that i say i am going to study, but i dint .. i am sorry.. really.. now, i dunwan to make anymore promises already.. its no use anymore.. i will jus do it from the bottom of my heart.. really.. i will b fillial to you both.. thankyou for your love , and care ..

jeannetteLAOBU
i am sorry .. treating u baddest of all.. but, you dont mind.. i am really sorry.. i know you know alotalot of things, but you jus dont wish to let me know, cus you know i wont be happy.. so, keep it this way yea? i know i have told you alot of times that i am going to change, but i still dint.. same here, i dont wish to promise, cus no point promising when i know i will break it.. i will just say i will do my best .. i know i have done things disappointing, but you dint show it to me and acted like you dont care .. but, i want to tell you that i am really sorry.. for the things that i have done.. hope i will be forgiven.. will i ?

soonliangBGPS
you saw it that day, despite me hiding from you.. i told you i will change.. but, now i guess i shall not give you that promise.. dont be angry with me yea.. cus, promising is never something i would do right now.. cus, i have broke many many promises to everyone already.. the same, i will jus do my best.. my very best for everything.. i hope you will understand, and thankyou for your care and concern.. even though we have never been really close, but we have been quite good friends.. i hope you will understand.. sorry and thankyou..

xueyiSUPERMAN
i know your antenna very long de.. but, i dont wish to promise you anything too .. cus, whenever i promise, it will always be broken.. i jus hope that, you will understand .. i will put in my best to do everything, for you.. i dont wish to see messages sent to me, showing your disappointment already.. cause, it hurts.. it really do.. i hope that you will understand .. sorry and thankyou ..

kimberlyLIMBU
i know, always i tell you that i want to be serious, but i have never done so.. now, i want to tel you that , i also dun wan promise you anymore lerr.. i just do it, from the bottom of my heart.. cause, i know that serious is not say out de.. so long as i know i am serious can lerr.. no need to tell.. i hope that you will understand.. sorry and thankyou ..

shirlyLIMPEH
thanks for tolerating all my nonsense when sitting beside me.. XD hope you can be happy always, and can cope with your studies yea.. jiayous ! i know you have started studying, and changed your attitude lerr.. jiayous ! next year, no matter wad class we go to, hope that we will still go down for recess together yea ? XD

hanmingKOR
you, i never promised you anything.. jus that, you are a good good kor.. when that time i stupidly go update my psp de dnno wad thing, you helped me.. also, last week, suddenly wake you up, call you come down bedok to study.. u although i know very tired, but still came.. and den when come, all zhabor.. you only dabor.. super sorry for that ehhs.. next time, sure wont happen de.. i hope that you can cope with your studies, dont so emoemo de lerr.. i know everyone sure will sad, but jus hope that you will try your best to be happy, also .. HAPPY BIRTHDAY(be-early) !

to all my friends
hope you guys are doing fine out there.. even though life may be stressful at times, but sadness will sure go away one day.. cause, behind every frown there is a smile.. believe that you can, and you can.. hope that you guys can smilesmilealways, and be happy. xDD

i will never promise anything already..

cause, i have broken far too much promises..

and i have caused far too much disappointment..

this post, august10, shall mean that i will try my best to be good..

wont be blogging much..

i guess, hiatus is still the best word...

nothing is ever important .
5:32 PM

till then we meet .

hiatus ..
for long

nothing is ever important .
7:05 PM